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Being curious about curiosity
Are you curious? When was the last time you re-invented your business, your relationship, yourself? How do you feel about the notion of re-inventing? Exhilarated? Or is your life so mechanical that there is no room for curiosity or inquisitiveness? Real resolve for 2012
Many New Year's resolutions are not conscious choices. They are knee-jerk reactions to something we don't like about ourselves – and it's usually about our "packaging" or some surface issue. Creating true resolve requires a deep, inner and conscious process. Help me to move on
This month, Peter Vajda offers some advice about the difference between being likable and needing to be liked, and what that means in the workplace. As he explains, almost everyone wants to be liked. But you can't build a career solely around being liked. When the horse dies, it's time to get off
What are the issues you're facing in your life? Are they the same issues you faced last year, or the year before that, or even earlier? If they are, you're carrying a dead horse on your shoulders. And that's a very tiring, debilitating and self-sabotaging burden to bear. The latest and greatest
More and more of us are suffering from neophilia – the obsessive desire to experience whatever is NEW, be it gadgets, cars or even the latest management fad. Symptoms include confusing appearance with substance, the external with the internal and net worth with self-worth. The space between people
When you ask someone how they are or how things are going, do ever actually stop and listen to their response? Do you really care how they are? Do you think about how you meet and greet others Or are you just asking so that you can tick some box? Cultural conditioning: giving up your truth
If you experience something everybody knows cannot happen, you must be crazy. But if you do not tell anyone and forget about it yourself, you will be just fine. But cracks in our reality do happen - uncanny events, something for which you have no conditioned categories for explanation. Sandpaper: the secret tool of change
We seem to be inundated with information about change and why it is so difficult to achieve, even when our brains are supposed to be "plastic". So why is it so challenging to make lasting changes? Here's one perspective. See how it works for you. The voices of fear, doubt and mistrust
Mistrust is a fact of life in many workplaces. But mistrust is brought to the workplace - it doesn't originate there. Mistrust in the workplace is a consequence, often unintended, of perceiving others through the lens of the child they once were. Violence: when we lose touch with our soul
Violence – be it in the workplace or elsewhere - is about one issue, and one issue only: power. And only when we understand this and understand the disconnection that leads up to violence can we start to learn how to cope with situations without resorting to violent behaviour.
Character. Have you got it?
The foundations of good character are honesty, integrity and courage – even when no one is watching. Once we become dishonest, even when no one is watching, the toothpaste is out of the tube, and mistrust, lying and deception will start to define who we are. Whatever you do, do it well
"Age quod agis" is a Latin phrase we were taught in elementary school. In essence it means "whatever you do, do it well" - do it with your whole self, not only from the neck up. So what does this imply in today's context? Making a two-professional relationship work
When two people spend an inordinate amount of time pursuing their careers, is there also time to pursue their relationship? The answer, of course, is "it depends". Here are some signs that a dual-professional relationship might be in trouble – and some ideas about how to fix it. Dreams and gridlock: the two-professional couple
It's not uncommon for professional couples to find themselves in gridlock. The demands and stress of work are exacerbated by differences about life at home, particularly when you have dreams that are not heard or respected by your partner. Resolving this requires dialogue and understanding. How real is your reality?
When we look at the world, how much of what we see is real and how much is created by tour interpretation of what we're seeing? The answer to this question can help us understand why we experience so much conflict in dealing ourselves and with others, be it at work or at home. Self-awareness and conflict
In a workplace where employees are self-aware, conflict can be minimal and constructive. But if the majority of employees are not self-aware, conflict can be insidious, toxic, all-pervasive and destructive. In fcat, a workplace will only "work" when people are in alignment with one another. When someone hits a raw nerve
We all know the feeling. You're in the middle of a conversation when all of a sudden, it goes south. Someone hit a raw nerve. But why? What's going on here - and what can we do about it? Professional relationships - what's missing?
They have all the social skills required to create professional relationships, so why do so many high-profile figures in politics, business, sports, arts and entertainment fall from grace as the result of personal relationship issues? Vacation? What vacation?
The dividing line between work and leisure is becoming more blurred than ever – and most of those who do go away on vacation will remain electronically tethered to their work. But as Peter Vajda reminds us, that's not a spiritually, emotionally, physically or psychologically healthy place to be. The truth about change
We hear a lot about change, be it at a personal or organizational level. But as Peter Vajda discusses, the reason change so often fails to take place is that change means being willing to allow old ideas and beliefs to die. You cannot change and still be the same. Behaving badly
Our society seems to have become inundated by folks who are dishonest and untrustworthy. So how is it that some people routinely behave in ways that are unethical, immoral and lacking integrity and yet never experience any guilt? Transparency: - easier said than done
Transparency ought to be so simple. But if transparency is a behavior in high demand, why are so many people unable or unwilling to behave transparently – at work or in their relationships? Compared to whom?
What is it about work that leads so many to be so dissatisfied? It's easy to blame external factors - "it," "him," "her" or "them" – but the real reason lies far closer to home. It's about the inner person, not about the externals. How can I fix this relationship?
Ellen is enjoying her new job – or at least she was until she refused to go out for a drink with her manager. Now his behaviour has become angry and aggressive and is causing her real concern. Peter Vajda suggests an approach to defuse the situation without "going nuclear". Work, play or misery?
In the current economy, it seems obvious that having a job - any job - is better than having no job at all. But as far as your mental and psychological well-being is concerned, that isn't necessarily true. People do what people see
Even in the throes of change, chaos and uncertainty, there is one element of your working life over which you have complete control. That element is your integrity. It is also the single most important factor in leading or managing by example. What gets in the way?
So, you're having a conversation. Everything starts off well. But all of a sudden, the conversation derails, beset by misunderstandings and conflict. Why does that happen? Here are some classic reasons for mis-communication.
In 2011, tell the truth
Almost all new year resolutions are about change. But change is challenging and demands you face some tough truths. Without this, you will never start your journey towards meaningful transformation. So if you make only one resolution for 2011, consider this. Tell the truth - to yourself. 2011: more of the same?
Do you want to experience 2011 in a different, less stressful way than 2010? It's a sad fact that far more of us fantasize about inner peace than actually get to experience it. Most of us seem to live our lives caught up in conflict, agitation, upset or stress. But it doesn't have to be that way. The power of gratitude
This week many of us are gathering with friends and family to celebrate Thanksgiving. And although many of us are struggling both emotionally and financially, we need to remember that there are some very good reasons to be thankful about life, regardless of what our personal circumstances may be. Whose success is it anyway?
It's no use trying to emulate somebody else's idea of success. Being successful requires a conscious exploration of what success means to you. It's far more than just achieving results. Commitment and harmony
At home or at work, the path to happiness is paved with commitment. No commitment, no happiness. That's why those who consistently say they are unhappy at work, at home, or in their relationships are so often lacking commitment. Life and problems
The reality of life is that life comes with problems. The two come as a package deal. And the secret to dealing with them rather than being overwhelmed by them is all about our perspective and the way we chose to approach them. Why you need equanimity
For many of us, stress is a wrapper surrounding our lives. Surrounded by crisis and conflict, it is all too easy to be knocked off course. But it doesn't have to be this way. In difficult times, probably the most important quality we can cultivate is equanimity - the evenness of mind under stress. 
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