The value of self-reliance

Dec 09 2008 by Dan Bobinski Print This Article

When I picked up my dry-cleaning the other day, the bill was $31. I mentioned it was worth every penny, as it saves me so much time. The manager said she was glad she didn't have to do the pressing herself. She said that the people doing the pressing worked non-stop, moving laundry through the system in a hot, humid environment all day long.

As we talked, we both agreed the job would not be pleasant, but that the people working in that position had chosen to do so. The manager added that if those people quit, many others were waiting to take their place.

We then reflected on how entry-level and menial labor jobs are mostly filled by people gaining experience and learning life's lessons, but also how the media sometimes paints all employers as exploiters.

Yes, some bad apples exist. Greedy people may exploit others, and some lazy people demand a free ride. But the majority of people are striving to live the American dream.

Earlier in my life I worked my share of entry-level jobs. The time spent in those positions gave me the motivation to want something better for myself, even though I occasionally believed the silly notion that promotions were somehow "owed" me.

However, I eventually learned that moving beyond those jobs required additional education and skills. I learned that I could not have what I wanted without working for it without learning marketable skills that somebody was willing to pay for.

In other words, I learned that to achieve my American dream, I was going to have to earn it.

As a result, it bothers me that people are being told they're being selfish for wanting to keep what they earn. Almost everyone I know who's living their dream got there through self-sacrifice. They chose to study when other people were watching TV or out having fun. Some took out student loans which they are still paying back, and some took huge risks that others would never think of taking.

The main point is that advancement - to whatever level one wants - comes through personal effort.

The manager of the dry cleaners was in agreement with this philosophy. She told me how she arrived at her current position by learning what was required and then making sure she could do it. She also said she had no desire to move beyond where she was. She said the money wasn't great, but that she made enough to get by.

She said she thought it was selfish for poorer people to expect rich people to share their wealth just because they had more of it. "They earn it, for crying out loud!" she said. "If people want more money they should find ways to earn it!"

Keep in mind this woman is in no way rich. She simply believes in a hand up, not a hand out - that learning is part of the formula for living your dream.

Granted, a select few are successful simply by being in the right place at the right time while others can't seem to get a break no matter what. For others still, health issues make life a constant struggle. There's no denying these things. But, for the majority of people, achieving their dream means determining what they want and then doing what it takes to achieve it.

Again, the reality is that some people will struggle more than others, but allow me to get a bit philosophical here and quote the closing words from Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay on self-reliance:

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.

In an ideal world, everyone puts forth the same efforts and reaps the same rewards. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way. The world is in flux. What works well for one person may not work for the next, and the same efforts don't always reap the same rewards.

As Emerson points out, the principle that brings the best triumph is self-reliance. It involves setting goals for what we want, a practice of lifelong learning, and taking opportunities as they present themselves. To do otherwise might reflect a wonderful ideal, but it does not allow for true peace nor the triumph of principles.

We all need a hand up from time to time, and some more than others. But Emerson was right, and so is the manager at my dry cleaners: We can't rely on others to give us the triumph of success.

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About The Author

Dan Bobinski
Dan Bobinski

Daniel Bobinski teaches teams and individuals how to use emotional intelligence and how to create high impact training. Hes also a best-selling author, a popular speaker, and he loves helping teams and individuals achieve workplace excellence

Older Comments

We can't not rely on others to give us the triumph of success - but we should be able to rely on others to give us a break, some help when we need it. Being content with a system that leaves so many behind is just too easy. What do you say to the man that lost his job (that he worked hard in, and hard to get), and therefore his healht-insurance and then got diagnosed with cancer? 'Sorry, you should've put in a little more effort into it'? The ideal world does not exiat - but we would all be better to strive for it...

Kjos Norway - the richest country in the world?

I find this article VERY appropriate for nearly everyone. I know that when I graduated from college with my Bachelors in Business Management, I expected to get a job making $60,000 a year. But that is not reality! Just because we have a degree doesn't mean that we deserve that large paycheck each month. So, I enrolled in the MBA program at NNU to further my education. I came to the realization that no one was going to pay me what I think I'm worth until I become worth what I think I am worth. Many of us are in a entry level position right out of college, not because that is our only skill level, but because we need to learn the job itself, and because we need to grow professionally. Just like Dan Bobinski said in his article 'moving beyond those jobs required additional education and skills'. Moving beyond our entry level jobs requires us learning more and gaining further knowledge of our job. The reality of it is, no one is going to just give me a great job without me having to work for it. Yea, there are those who have been laid off from jobs they were with for a long time, which is unfortunate. But for the most part, we cant just sit back and expect to be given all these opportunities unless we go out there and create these opportunities for ourselves. Donald Trump did not get where he is today by getting handouts from everyone. He worked hard to build the empire he now sits on. Many need to learn from his example and take charge of thier own futures.

Krista Boise, ID