When your boss hates you

Jan 20 2009 by Print This Article

Imagine that you walk into your bosses' office and ask why it is that he or she seems to be making your life so difficult. Now imagine that rather than mincing their words, your boss simply says that he or she is trying to force you to quit. How do you deal with that?

That is the tricky question the "Work Coach" advice columnist at Work Coach Cafe dealt with in one of her entries last year.

The writer to the advice columnist relates the scenario described above. She also states that her job is working for the state, a notorious place where those working often are just counting their time until retirement. She also says she has complained to those above her boss and received nothing in return. So what happens next?

According to "Sandra" the advice columnist there is little more that the employee can do than start looking for another job. She also reminds the audience that it is essential, from the first day at a new job, to start building alliances with those who are your managers or could potentially become your manager.

While the poor soul is looking for a new job, Sandra suggests she do her best to try and patch things up with her current boss. By looking at this as a chance to find a job she may really like she can turn that "positive energy" into something she can use in her current situation and, at the very least, make her remaining time there better.

Once your boss decides they have it in for you, there may be little you can do. By turning it into a chance to improve your own life you can at least try to turn that negative into a positive. It maybe the world and fate itself trying to tell you that it's time to find that new job you've always wanted.


Older Comments

I would add that once you've found a job, be a professional in the way you leave. Resist the urge to 'in your face' the boss and others who turned a blind eye. If they ignored what you said while working there, odds are a diatribe during your exit interview will also go nowhere. And, that job is still part of the timeline on your resume. You never know when you'll need their cooperation in the future. I've seen this happen and it never goes the way the person seems to think it will.

Brian Louisville, KY

Bryan â€'

I agree with Sandra. When a manager asks you to quit, it’s often euphemistically referred to “coaching an employee out of a job”. It’s almost like being fired, but the manager is trying to avoid all of the HR process and paperwork. There are no patching things up at this point, it’s too late. So yes, it’s time to put all of your energy into finding a new job and get on with your life. There’s an upside: you don’t have to say or report you were fired, and you are still being paid to find a new job. But the ultimate upside is a fresh start and probably finding a better situation.

Dan McCarthy

The worst thing about the American workplace is we can no longer agree to disagree civilly. There is no longer a playing field where people can announce their opinions even if they be different. I've been in the situation whereby management makes it difficult for employees. Managers don't buy this logic of cultivating the gold. It's all hogwash. I tried so hard to establish rapport with my boss. It did not matter. If they have it in for you, they have it in. They would rather keep incompetent employees than intelligent people who stand up for what they believe in. So for of you in the HR business, all these blogs & books out there, managers don't follow & that is why the nation is going down the drain. It's all about ego & power. And you guys all think that is ethical. At least I did not stoop to the level of my supervisor.


A co-worker of mine has hated me and is jeleous of me since day 1. Now she's my boss and she's is going to do anything and everything to get me fired. What to do?


I'd agree that one should exit gracefully, but in my workplace it is at an epidemic level for people to leave and if the exit interview isn't truthful then the bullies win again. Sometimes we have to cut our losses and be frank about what is happening. Maintaining some nefarious connection to an abusive situation is submitting to the abuser. It would be prolonging the fear, abuse, dehumanization we have experienced. We have to be willing to take the intial hit and know that if we are confident, able and capable, we'll make it, otherwise we are just leaving our lives in the control of the bully, which is what they intended in the first place.


Even though we should expect more from our boss, we should grit our teeth and look at the bigger picture to see how the relationship can be mended. Often, this involves getting rid of a load of 'baggage' and wiping the slate clean, so that we can react more positively to every future encounter we have with our boss.

It takes courage and a thick skin!

Simon Stapleton http://www.simonstapleton.com/wordpress