My girlfriend destroyed my undergarments!

2007

Those without the good sense to work from a place and to a schedule of their own choosing will doubtless be familiar with being late for work.

According to a new CareerBuilder.com survey, 16 percent of workers say they arrive late to work at least once a week, with a quarter feeling they need to making up fake excuses to explain their tardiness.

Meanwhile, the hiring managers surveyed by CareerBuilder provided these rather more unusual excuses employees offered for arriving late to work:

  1. Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
  2. My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what "really" happened.
  3. My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments.
  4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
  5. I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning.
  6. I was up all night arguing with God.
  7. A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.
  8. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
  9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
  10. A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around ... so I got out of the car.

And just in case you're tempted to dismiss " My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments" as too far-fetched, take a look at this gem from this week's BBC online.

A Cumbrian couple's wedding plans are all at sea after the prospective bride dumped her fiance's work van, and all his clothes, into a harbour.

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