Appraisal time again?

May 09 2007 by Print This Article

If it is performance appraisal time at your company then it's probably a hassle you just don't have the time to deal with. Thankfully, the Corporate Cynichas some helpful suggestions.

The blog, written by a gentleman named Jerome Alexander, has its tongue planted firmly in its cheek, but it does offer some interesting insight on the dreaded annual review process.

"Remind your direct reports that the sum total of their employees' overall ratings must be distributed in a nice bell curve. HR loves that stuff. If the results do not fit the curve, press your subordinates until they do," is one tip on reporting the data.

As for creating goals and development plans: "Never mind that the instructions on the form state that goals should be concrete, measurable and attainable. The goals you set for your direct reports must be intentionally vague. You need to keep them guessing as to whether or not they are doing a good job."

Of course this is all meant to be funny, but it does highlight the real frustrations many of us feel when it comes to annual performance appraisals. Essentially, most employees feel their managers don't care about their reviews and that they do nothing to benefit their careers.

The cynic goes on to offer cynical tips on setting the time for the meetings, creating "stretch" goals, and what to avoid putting in writing.

"Remember, get the forms signed, sealed, delivered and forgotten about. You've done your job."

That's a tip that ALL supervisors should consider carefully.