Natasha Santos's Answer:
First, I want to acknowledge what you're feeling. The stress you're carrying is completely valid, and preparing for your first child is overwhelming enough without also worrying about how you'll balance all the things that come with being a new mother.
I understand that it can feel frustrating when you compare U.S. protections to what parents receive elsewhere. Take it from me, you are not overreacting; the system here really does put a lot of the planning burden on new parents.
That said, I want to reassure you that in California, it's possible to have more options than the '12 weeks unpaid' that often gets talked about. The details can feel complicated, but I've tried to break down how it works:
Pregnancy Disability Leave (PDL): you can take up to 4 months off work if the company you currently work for has more than five employees. As long as a doctor certifies that you are not able to work due to pregnancy or childbirth, you will be entitled to this PDL (and there is no minimum tenure you would have had to work to claim this).
State Disability Insurance (SDI) : another thing that is not widely known, but SDI can partially replace your wage for 4-8 weeks after birth. It's usually about 60-70% of your regular salary, and you can claim this regardless of the size of your employer.
Paid Family Leave (PFL) : PFL grants the claimant eight weeks of partial pay solely for bonding with your newborn after recovery.
California Family Rights Act (CFRA) : another way to claim some leave to bond it through the CFRA, which states that as long as you have worked with your company for more than a year and the company has more than five employees, you can get 12 weeks of job-protected bonding leave.
When you bring all these offerings together and layer them on top of one another, many parents in California end up with closer to 16-24 weeks off, with at least part of that paid. You may not qualify for every single one, as some have certain parameters, but it's likely you have some more flexibility than you realize.
But in terms of what you can do right now, I definitely recommend talking to HR long before your maternity leave comes around. Let them know that you want to plan this out thoughtfully, and enquire about any company-specific benefits that may be on offer to you to help alleviate some of those feelings of stress and angst. It might also be a good idea to sketch out a 'leave map' with how you can combine all the above entitlements, as this will make having that conversation with HR a lot easier.
If you find that extra paid leave isn't an option, make sure to enquire about a flexible return to work, as having a phased return or even some remote days can make all the difference for your mental health at that time.
But don't forget, it's unlawful for your employers to retaliate against you for taking pregnancy or bonding leave. Hopefully knowing that you are protected in this sense can offer you a better sense of security in the matter. Sadly, the maternity system over here isn't perfect by any means, but in California you do have more tools at your disposal that can give you that bit of breathing room to focus on yourself and your baby.