My wife is blocking my career change dream

2007

My wife is pressurizing me to earn a higher salary by finding another job but I want to do just the opposite. After 15 years in middle management I'm constantly tired and have long lost the zest I used to have for work. Can you offer any support/advice?

James, Toronto

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Rob Yeung's Answer:

If your wife wants a bigger salary, suggest that she goes and finds a higher paying job!

Joking aside though, it sounds as if you need to consider what you want from your work. Many managers discover that being successful (i.e. being financially well off and having the status that may go with it) is no longer enough for them.

I would suggest you take some time out to reflect on your future. Could you imagine yourself doing the same job until you retire? If not, you might wish to consider what gives you most enjoyment in your life – both within your work and outside of it.

What skills do you most enjoy putting into practice? Because there is a critical difference between being good at something (i.e. merely possessing a skill) and enjoying putting a skill to good use (i.e. having a strength).

For example, while you may be able to put together complex spreadsheets, Is it something that you can "cope with"? Or is it something that makes you lose track of time?

Once you have identified your strengths, start to research possible alternative career paths that may allow you to use more of your strengths. Talk to trusted individuals within your network about your strengths and interests and ask for suggestions.

But perhaps the most important part of crafting a new career for yourself is to experiment and explore possibilities. Don't just think about those other potential career paths. Take a chance on them. If you think you may want to work in the not-for-profit sector, take a week off and go shadow someone who works in that sector. If you think you want to set up a snowboarding shop in a ski resort, find someone who does it and ask them what's it really like.

Don't just dream; do something about it, and hopefully you will find something that helps you to recover that zest you used to have for your work.

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About our Expert

Rob Yeung
Rob Yeung

Dr Rob Yeung is a Director and executive coach at leadership consulting firm Talentspace. He is the author of over a dozen career and management books including How to Win and I is for Influence.