Things not to say on your resume


It is still early in the new year and perhaps you have been given (or not given) your annual raise. Is it time to move on to something else? Are you planning on updating your resume and cover letter?

This article from "Don't Make Me Laugh has a few things you may not want to put in those documents. According to the website, all of these are actual sentences found on applications, resumes and letters.

1. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms [sic].

2. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

3. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

4. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

5. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

6. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

7. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

8. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

9. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

10. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

There are more within the article that are just as interesting. So, if you are planning on doing the rewrite in the near future, you may want to read them carefully. Not only might you not get the job, but your words could end up on a website for the rest of the world to read.