How to get fired

2008

It's a new year and, just maybe, it's time to make that career change. However, if the idea of quitting doesn't appeal to you, this article from Monster.com suggests some things you can do that almost guarantee you will get fired.

First, lie on your resume. In this day and age, employers really do check those things you put on your CV. Those background checks can often take up to a month and during that time you might actually be brought in to do some work. That is, until your lie is discovered.

Second, if you are looking for another job, do it right out in the open, using your work e-mail and work computer.

Third and fourth, spend a lot of time gossiping about your fellow co-workers and taking personal phone calls. It's best to do this very loudly so everyone else can hear it.

Fifth, bring a few bottles of alcohol to work, store them in your desk and get drunk on the job.

Sixth, spend every moment you have, especially during times when you should be working, surfing the web.

Seventh, have an affair with your boss. Sure, it makes for great conversation with your co-workers, but it's also a quick way to the unemployment line.

Eighth, if you work with numbers, remember to do them very quickly and don't bother to double-check the figures.

Ninth, become detached and utterly alienate all of your co-workers.

Tenth, make sure, when you do get in trouble, that you point your finger and blame everyone else around you, but never take any responsibility yourself.

By following those ten important tips, the year 2008 could be the start of a whole new career path for you. Enjoy!

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